I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: An Interview.
The action icon is universally recognized as an iconic tough guy. Yet, at the height of his cinematic dominance in the 1980s and 1990s, he also starred in several critically acclaimed comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its 35-year mark this December.
The Film and That Line
In the classic film, Schwarzenegger embodies a undercover cop who masquerades as a elementary educator to catch a killer. During the story, the investigation plot acts as a simple backdrop for the star to share adorable scenes with children. Arguably the most famous features a child named Joseph, who out of nowhere stands up and informs the stoic star, “Boys have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Schwarzenegger replies icily, “I appreciate the insight.”
The young actor was brought to life by former young actor Miko Hughes. Beyond this role encompassed a character arc on Full House as the bully to the famous sisters and the character of the youngster who comes back in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with a slate of movies on the horizon. He also frequently attends fan conventions. Recently recalled his memories from the filming of the classic over three decades on.
Behind the Scenes
Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
That's remarkable, I have no memory from being four. Do you have any memories from that time?
Yeah, a little bit. They're snapshots. They're like mental photographs.
Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?
My family, especially my mother would accompany me to auditions. Often it was a mass tryout. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all simply wait around, enter the casting office, be in there for a very short time, do whatever little line they wanted and then leave. My parents would feed me the lines and then, as soon as I could read, that was the initial content I was reading.
Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?
He was very kind. He was playful. He was nice, which arguably makes sense. It'd be weird if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a good work environment. He was fun to be around.
“It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a huge celebrity because that's what my parents told me, but I had barely seen his movies. I felt the importance — he was a big deal — but he didn't frighten me. He was simply playful and I was eager to interact with him when he was available. He was occupied, of course, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd flex and we'd be dangling there. He was incredibly giving. He purchased for each child in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was the hottest tech. That was the coolest device, that funky old yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It finally gave out. I also received a authentic coach's whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.
Do you remember your time filming as being fun?
You know, it's amusing, that movie became a phenomenon. It was a huge film, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the original Game Boy was new. That was the big craze, and I was quite skilled. I was the smallest kid and some of the older kids would hand me their devices to beat difficult stages on games because I could do it, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.
The Infamous Moment
OK, the infamous quote, do you remember the context? Did you understand the words?
At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word provocative meant, but I knew it was provocative and it made adults laugh. I understood it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given special permission in this case because it was funny.
“She really wrestled with it.”
How it was conceived, based on what I was told, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. Certain bits of dialogue were written into the script, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they developed it during shooting and, I suppose it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "I need to consider this, I need time" and took a short while. It was a tough call for her. She said she wasn't sure, but she felt it could end up as one of the most memorable lines from the movie and her instinct was correct.
